2015 02 colonial players logo
2015 06 why torture is wrong showing
OffBook: A Ghost Light In-The-Round Wes Bedsworth guest blogs this month to talk about the Ghost Light and the Colonial Players adaptation of one!


The Colonial Players, Inc. is a not-for-profit, all volunteer community theater with an open casting policy. All auditions are open to the public and no roles are pre-cast. All roles are non-paying. Auditions are generally held our Annex (2132 Renard Court) near the Annapolis Mall, unless otherwise noted. Colonial Players welcomes actors and other volunteers of all backgrounds and skill levels.

Auditioners are encouraged to download and print the audition form available on our downloads page, fill it in, and bring it to auditions. (The form cannot be filled in on-line.)

AdobeReaderAdobe Acrobat Reader is required to access the forms and can be downloaded free from Adobe.

You may opt to attach a photo in the space indicated, or one will be taken at auditions.

Note: It is Colonial Players, Inc. policy that all persons involved with a production are or become members. The fee is $10 per year. First time volunteers receive a complimentary membership, valid through the end of the current membership year. If cast, your membership status will be reviewed and non-current members will be asked to renew. Your participation in auditions indicates understanding of and agreement with this policy.


Written by: Christopher Durang
Directed by: Kristofer Kauff
Produced by: Wes Bedsworth


Location: Colonial Players Annex, 2132 Renard Ct., Annapolis, MD 21401

Sunday, April 12, 2015: sign-in starting at 1:30 p.m., auditions begin at 2:00 p.m.

Monday, April 13, 2015: sign-in starting at 6:30 p.m., auditions begin at 7:00 p.m.


Individual actors will be notified following the auditions, if needed.

Location: Colonial Players Annex, 2132 Renard Ct., Annapolis, MD 21401

Wednesday, April 15, 2015: callbacks begin at 7:00 p.m.


  • Performances: June 5 - 20, 2015
    • 8:00 p.m. on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays
    • 2:00 p.m. on Sundays
    • 7:30 p.m. on Sunday, June 14 (Sunday evening performance)
  • First Read Through: Thursday, April 16 at 7:00 p.m.
  • Rehearsals: TBD based on availability, preferably three consecutive days each week including one weekend day
  • Publicity Photo Shoot: Sunday, April 26, 2015
  • Tech-In: May 23 - June 5, 2015
  • Invited Dress Rehearsal: Thursday, June 4, 2015 at 8:00 p.m.
  • Archive Photo Shoot: Sunday, June 7, 2015 following the matinee performance


  • Sign-in will be available 30 minutes prior to auditions beginning promptly at the start times listed above.
  • Late arrivals can be accommodated only as time permits. If you know you will be late, please make prior arrangements with the director by emailing This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
  • To expedite the sign-in process, the audition form is available on the Downloads page of our website under Forms and can be downloaded and completed in advance of arrival. Please bring the completed form with your resume or list of experience and a headshot or recent photo. If you do not have recent photo, one will be taken at sign-in.
  • Auditioners are asked to provide a schedule of conflicts between auditions, April 12, 2015, and closing night, June 20, 2015.
  • Actors should prepare a one-minute comedic monologue in the style of, but not from, the play.
  • Auditioners may be asked to perform cold readings from the script.

For more information, please contact the director, Kristofer Kauff, and the producer, Wes Bedsworth, by sending an email to This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..


Christopher Durang turns political humor upside down with this raucous and provocative satire about America's growing homeland "insecurity." Why Torture is Wrong, and the People Who Love Them tells the story of a young woman suddenly in crisis: Is her new husband, whom she married when drunk, a terrorist? Or just crazy? Or both? Is her father's hobby of butterfly collecting really a cover for his involvement in a shadow government? Why does her mother enjoy going to the theatre so much? Does she seek mental escape, or is she insane? Honing in on our private terrors both at home and abroad, Durang oddly relieves our fears in this black comedy for an era of yellow, orange, and red alerts. This pungently funny comedy bears all the hallmarks of Durang's style: hilarious non-sequitur-loaded dialogue, characters atilt with their own predilections, and the sense that you somehow wandered into the wrong play and can't quite understand all that is happening and whether you should be laughing or outraged.

Content Warning: This play contains violence, mature themes, and language.


FELICITY (lead) – Perfectly nice woman of 25 to 34; educated fast-paced New York type; funny, self-deprecating, clever, stylish; great comic timing and must be a able to convincingly ballroom dance with a partner, a la Cyd Charisse. Just past ingénue age but not quite leading lady yet.

ZAMIR (lead) – charismatic but mysterious man of indeterminate ethnicity; dark-haired, probably Pakistani or Egyptian but could also be Greek, Italian, or Jewish-looking; does NOT have a heavy accent and can sound American; a mix of sexy and scary; can go from charming to threatening in an instant; age can be 25 to 45.

LUELLA (supporting) – Felicity’s mother, a somewhat dazed/befuddled woman; dresses well. Has an upscale suburban feel but is not snobby or patronizing (not a typical country club type); forgetful & repetitive but not annoying. Late 40s to mid 50s.

LEONARD (supporting) – Felicity’s father: strong-minded, formidable, willful, 100% sure he’s right about everything. Republican tea party type. Deadpan, serious. Late 40s to late 50s.

HILDEGARDE (supporting) – a conservative, old-fashioned woman in her mid 40s to late 50s. Admires Leonard greatly, has a crush on him, although she doesn’t think of it that way herself. A nice, neat hairdo. Navy blue jacket, navy blue skirt, and white blouse with pearls type. Great at slapstick comedic moments. Ladylike.

VOICE/NARRATOR (supporting) – age anywhere from 20s to 40s. Well spoken, must make announcements. Also plays a wacky, hyperactive spy and suave maitre’d. Should sing well or pleasantly. Ability to play multiple characters distinctly and convincingly a must. Energetic.